Should Children Be Present at a Home Birth?
Exploring Tradition, Evidence, and the Role of a Sibling Doula
When preparing for a home birth, many mothers wonder: Should my older child be present?
It’s a natural longing — to welcome the new baby as a family, to make birth a normal, beautiful part of life rather than something hidden away. But is it a good idea? What does evidence say? And how can we ensure the experience is positive for everyone, especially the child?
What the Evidence Says
There is growing support for involving older siblings at a birth — when it is done with care.
Some studies and personal experiences suggest that being present can help children view birth as a natural, empowering event. It can create strong family bonds and offer a sense of pride and connection with the newborn.
However, birth is intense. It can be long, loud, messy, and emotional. If a child is unprepared, or if complications arise, the experience could feel overwhelming. This is why thoughtful preparation — and the presence of someone specifically dedicated to the child's wellbeing — is crucial.
Is It Normal in Other Cultures?
In many Indigenous and traditional societies, birth was, and still is, a communal event. Children, women, and extended family members are often present. Birth is seen as a rite of passage, a family story unfolding, not a hidden medical event.
In contrast, Western societies moved birth into hospitals during the 20th century, making it a private and clinical experience. Only recently, with the resurgence of home births and midwifery care, has the idea of including siblings returned — though it remains outside the mainstream.
In holistic birthing communities in places like the Netherlands, New Zealand, or among homebirth families in the US and UK, it’s becoming more common for siblings to attend births, provided they are well-supported.
The Essential Role of a Sibling Doula
This is where a Sibling Doula becomes invaluable.
A Sibling Doula is a trained professional whose sole responsibility is to care for the older child (or children) during labor and birth. Their presence ensures that the child’s emotional and physical needs are met — without pulling the birthing mother or partner away from the intensity of the birthing process.
A Sibling Doula’s role may include:
Preparing the child ahead of time with age-appropriate information about what to expect: the sounds, the sights, and the feelings.
Staying close during the birth, providing comfort, explanations, and emotional grounding.
Being flexible: following the child’s lead, offering play, cuddles, snacks, a break outdoors, or even leaving the birth space entirely if it becomes too overwhelming.
Supporting rituals or ways for the child to be involved — for example, helping cut the cord (if desired), singing a welcome song, or bringing a special gift for the baby.
Holding a calm and reassuring energy, helping the child experience birth with a sense of wonder rather than fear.
Why It Matters
When a child is held, prepared, and emotionally supported during a sibling’s birth, they are more likely to feel proud, connected, and excited about their new family member. Birth becomes something normal and celebrated — part of life’s great cycles — rather than something secret or frightening.
A Sibling Doula creates the bridge between birth as a family event and the individual needs of each family member, ensuring that everyone — mother, baby, partner, and child — feels seen, nurtured, and honored.
Final Thoughts
Having your child present at a home birth can be a beautiful, unforgettable experience.
With good preparation, gentle support, and the loving presence of a Sibling Doula, it becomes not just the birth of a new baby — but a profound family transformation, witnessed by all.
