Honouring Life’s Choices: My Journey to the Closing the Bones Ceremony

I first heard about the rebozo in 2018 during my doula training. At the time, it felt foreign to me—not just because it originated from another culture, but because it wasn’t part of my own habits or routines. I never used shawls; it didn’t feel natural to include them in my life or practice.

Years passed, and life carried on. Over the past two years, I found myself reflecting deeply on whether or not to welcome a third child as I approached my 40s. For the first time in my life, I had to make a decision not from my gut or my heart, but from reason. After much thought, we decided to keep our family as it was.

It wasn’t an easy choice. Raising two boys without a village had been challenging, and traveling back to Cape Town every two years with three children simply wasn’t feasible. Yet, the weight of this decision lingered—it felt hard to accept. Becoming and being a mother has been the most beautiful gift of my life, and as I’ve grown into motherhood, I’ve learned so much. A part of me longed to explore how I might mother now, with all the wisdom I’ve gained.

But I knew I needed to find peace, to close this chapter and embrace my 40s with two almost pre-teens by my side. Telling myself it was the right decision wasn’t enough; I felt it deeply in my bones—I needed to honor this choice, this new phase of my life.

One day, I came across a post from my doula in Cape Town about a Closing the Bones ceremony she had performed. It struck me like lightning: I needed that. I told her how I wished I had experienced such a ceremony after my births and how much I needed it now. Her response stayed with me: “There’s no time limit. You can do it whenever you feel the need.”

A few months later, there I was—nine years after my last birth—wrapped, cocooned, and cared for during a Closing the Bones ceremony. My doula guided me through touch, fabrics, and words, helping me symbolically close one chapter and step into the next.

That ceremony gave me the closure I needed. It was a healing experience that allowed me to move forward with grace. And the rebozo shawl that once felt so foreign now feels sacred—a therapeutic, powerful tool I cherish. I knew I wanted to include this practice in my offerings for mothers.

The Closing the Bones ceremony is more than just a ritual; it’s a moment to honor where you’ve been and where you’re going. Whether you’ve just given birth, are closing the chapter on motherhood, or navigating any major life transition, this ceremony creates space for healing, reflection, and renewal.

If you feel called to honor your own journey, I would be honored to guide you through this transformative ceremony. Let’s create a sacred space to celebrate your path and help you embrace what lies ahead.